NaNoWriMo: My first panic attack

Right now I’m in Bona Coffee, using a Mac* to write my NaNoWriMo novel, and a few minutes ago I had my first panic attack. A real one, too – I couldn’t breathe, and I was really afraid, afraid that my novel wasn’t going anywhere (or it was going where I didn’t want it to go).

I described my dilemma on the Philippines NaNoWriMo group, but am reposting it here:

My characters have hijacked my novel


It’s my first time to write fiction. I didn’t prepare for it the way other people did, with outlines or character drafts or whatever, but I did have some notes and ideas on how I wanted the novel to be.

It’s Nov. 2 and I’ve written two chapters already, but somehow one character has died, and other characters have moved to places I didn’t originally think of, and they’re not doing what I wanted them to do at all. And I don’t necessarily like what they’re doing, as theyr’e totally not following the supposed “plot”, and because of this I have no idea what Chapter Three will be like, much less Chapter 30.

is this normal? Does fiction really write itself? Should I just let it happen or should I steer the characters more towards where they’re supposed to be?

I’ve calmed down a bit now, and trying to calm down even more with a spiced apple chai, but I’m done writing for today.

*This has nothing to do with Microsoft failing me last week


5 thoughts on “NaNoWriMo: My first panic attack

  1. Of course not. After all, we write Office for Mac. IM for Mac and some other stuffs… I have a Mac mini at home – in fact, we’re in the process of upgrading notebooks… if the MacBook Pro wasn’t suchs a problem child, I’d be getting a 15″. Although it would be dual boot 🙂

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