I am home now. Home is two places: Alabang, where my family lives, and Makati, where I have recently moved out. I shuttle back and forth, moving clothes, buying groceries, and eating my weight.
I have been trying to remember who I was in Manila. You might think five months away is not very long (it is not, and it is, depending on how you look at things). But I got used to it. And since I’ve gotten back, my priorities have changed slightly, and so I’m trying to carve out a new self, one thing at a time.
This is now a list of things I want to be, here in Manila:
- I would like to get over my goddamn jetlag. I now sleep at night (good), but bedtime is 10pm or earlier (bad). I would like to be able to go out at night, thank you very much.
- I would like to keep cooking for myself. I’ve been using Stonesoup’s free cookbook, where the dishes only have 5 ingredients and take 10 minutes to make. So far, I’ve been cooking edible stuff, but they’re all very basic – I’d like more serious cooking skills in the future.
- I would like to stay in shape. I can’t run (or even walk) in this rainy weather, and the gloom actually makes me want to lie down and be lazy. I’ve signed up for a free trial of YogaGlo, which streams yoga classes from a studio in Santa Monica. If it works for me, I’ll subscribe every month.
- I would like to see my friends. All of them. I’ve started this (and a Facebook album is chronicling it). They are what I missed most from Manila, and so I’m going to find them, wherever they are. (The trick is figuring out who’s free and when!)
- I would like to be a good friend. This means actually keeping in touch with people, caring about what happens to them, and being there when they need me (not when it’s most convenient).
- I would like to go to the beach next year, when the sun shines. (I’ve said it before: you got nuthin’ on our beaches.)
- I would like to get over my fear of driving (or, more specifically, my fear of being crushed like a bug by buses and Fortuners). I have been driving defensively since I’ve been here, like a slow granny. People have been honking at me.
- I would like to learn to be self-sufficient here in my new flat. I would like to know, for example, how to fix a broken toilet, or how to kill a spider (or maybe even just a flying cockroach). When I can do those things, I’ll know I can handle living alone.
- I would like to learn Japanese. (The boyfriend speaks it.) I’m thinking of signing up for the Nihongo Center Foundation, once schedule allows.
- I would like to semi-redecorate. I don’t have the budget to do anything serious, but I would like to make this nest as homey and comfortable as possible.
- I would like to go to a gig again. I haven’t yet, and I miss it dearly. (Meiday and Attraction! Reaction!, I’m looking at you!)
- I would like to spend more time with my parents, since living in the US has taught me how mortal we all are. (Once in a while, someone would throw themselves in front of the Redwood City caltrain.)
- The biggest goal I have is to save up. Seriously save. Enough to, eventually, get where I want to go. Considering most of the goals above cost money, this will be my biggest challenge. I have friends like Gabby who are giving me financial advice – I just have to listen and do. And never buy an Xbox 360. *sniff*
I’m giving myself a year before going back to the States again – let’s see how many of these I can actually accomplish. (Completely unrelated – would you like to read what my dad is trying to accomplish? Click here. Take note that my list is selfish and juvenile – everything his list isn’t.)
“Where I am is who I am, part 1” is here.